I Am a Guest

by Zac Clark

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about

I wandered the world in search of a solution and emerged from my travels with an even greater gift: a sense of calm in the absence of any answer. I looked for home and found it in every place I rested my head. Embracing the beauty of the whole erased my worries over my own small part, and revealed the answer to a question I'd not even realized I'd nearly died answering. We are all travelers, meant to be each other's guides and hosts, and these songs are an embrace of my temporary stay on this planet, where I am grateful to simply be a guest.

credits

released 21 May 2015

Produced by Zac Clark, Jer Coons and Eric Maier
Recorded and mixed by Jer Coons and Eric Maier in Burlington, VT, October - December 2013
Mastered by Doug Van Sloun at Focus Mastering in Omaha, NE, January 2014

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about

Zac Clark Burlington, Vermont

Recorded on the road in the midst of a search for a reason to release a record in the first place and out November 20th, Young Volcanoes has already raised thousands for Burlington VT's Cancer Patient Support Program and will continue to benefit CPSP with 20% of each sale. Literate rock and roll with a purpose that keeps one foot in the future and one anchored in 70s songwriting and production. ... more

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Track Name: Hum
I was born to bottle and explode. You were made to masquerade; we both converse in code.

Now we sit among these unburied bones of every truth we've ever known.

I've been down this road before, and there ain't no use guarding the heart that's always breaking- cause it's the heart that loves to beat. There's a hum that the world won't stop making and I can feel it in me. No solution in the soul that's ceased its shaking: just an acceptance of the incomplete. You're a part of the hum that the world won't stop making- ain't no such thing as defeat.

Gave your sweet talk all my best thoughts that I felt I'd yet amassed. Weeks later woke up with an actress, found em floating in the trash.

I can't be mad: on one hand you're better with the clutter, and on the other I'm just swimming in a cloudy past.

I have been down this road before.
Track Name: Drugs
You made a list of all your favorite things. I made a record of my faults. We stared so far into the future, here and now came to a halt.

I can't wait with you forever- hope we wind our way out soon. I thought by now we'd have a glass house on the moon, but that don't bother me none, if I've got you.

I've dreamed of drugs like you before: you are the symptom and the cure. I can't wake up when you're in my blood. I am tired and I'm poor, three thousand miles from your door, and I am just masochistic enough to believe in love.

You look at me like I'm the only one. I look around like you are not. That's not to say I want to leave; it just hurts like hell to stay in one spot.

But I can't float in space forever.
Track Name: Passing Slow
Passing slow, our matching vessels know exactly where to go. Shapes align, our bodies charging and retreating with no reason or rhyme.

Up they spring from east to west, the ghost collectors build their nets. We haunt the ones we love the best, but leave nothing the same.

We are made and we are spent. We are semi-permanent. We are stolen. We are renting out our time. But you are the shadows off the coast. You are the voice I hear the most. You are the only missing piece I always find. Would you stay mine?

Fascinated by the fact I fit so well inside someone who follows my every move, but it's so much harder to hide everything I think about everything other than you.

Parts of a whole, we are always new.
Track Name: All You're Gonna Do
We danced all night, the only couple on the floor. I gave it all, but you are swinging like there's more. A sober statue, standing still, stumbles and sways greeting your wrath. A silent storm of strength and speed with only one thing in its path.

With leaden limbs, my mind's one muscle I can move. I know the steps and there is little left to prove. I've been bet on and bet against. I've breathed this beaten breath before. We danced all night, the only couple on the floor.

One last look before it all goes dark, I'm bracing for the final blow: when you say, "All I'm gonna do is break your heart, you know." And my one last thought before it all goes black is that once you leave, you can never crawl back. So if all you're gonna do is break my heart, then break my heart and go.

In this city all the girls walk just like dancers, but they are serpents when they speak and I wish I could just tell them, "Every time I go away, I stay just a little bit longer, and it won't be long before I'm gone for good."
Track Name: You Can't Talk Trust
When I leave my body, I'll no longer be myself. So while I walk this world, why waste wishes on anyone else?

She comes to me and says, "Son, stop singin such sad, sad songs." She shakes me from my sleep, where I kept my mind on loss and I lost my mind. Stared at what I sought till I'd forgotten how to find. I prayed my poetry'd be proof. My truth, I thought, would somehow rhyme. But I learned you can't talk trust- trust just takes time.

Stapled up on Sunset, I slipped away to see the sun rise from a former home. And from the east, I find my peace- my shaking soul has been released. If I'm to leave the preconceived, then I must leave it on my own.

She comes to me and reminds me it's time I start making all the love I claim to want. She drags me from my dead-end dream, where I kept my mind on loss and I lost my mind. Stared at what I sought till I'd forgotten how to find. I prayed my poetry'd be proof. My truth, I thought, would somehow rhyme. But I learned you can't talk trust- trust just takes time.
Track Name: Low
Made of molecules, born of miles. By the road there is a river; let it carry you awhile. The sun will follow you. The moon will wait. May you find shelter in the dark and let the morning guide your way.

When you find it you will know. It seems all we've ever known is hanging on, when all we need's to just let go. In time we'll see the in between. The highs are high but the lows are all so

Low hangs the heavy heart that weighs its spirit down with thoughts and cannot pull the two apart. A silent soul with a steady speed is set to center on the space between desire and a need.

When you find it you will know. It seems all we've ever known is hanging on, when all we need's to just let go. In time we'll see the in between. The highs are high but the lows are all so low.

Start wearing the gifts you've been given and they will grow; when you find it you will know.
Track Name: Don't Just Love Me Cause You're Lonely
Swore I heard the rain start falling from down the street, just like you saw the storm in me. Now it's late night or early morning; either way it's pouring biblically, and you're every girl I've ever known when you turn to speak.

You said, "Don't just love me cause you're lonely. You could be my one and only. So if you're serious then show me; don't just love me cause you're lonely."

Should've felt the flames start flickering at my feet before you smelled the smoke on me. Now you're so close I can taste you- not a single sense could be deceived, and you're every girl I've ever known when you turn to speak.
Track Name: All That I Want
Not yet enough of the moon to get us out of the woods, but I swear I'm getting whole just like any good fraction should.

She sends me signs, but I'm blind and mine are designed for everyone. And what good's a sign once you find it can be divined by anyone?

It's you on my mind, dragged down deep in the night, with my darkness most desperate to decide. Just when I thought I'd lost myself completely, I found a truth you never thought would reach me: I've got all that I want.

Not yet enough of the sun to get us out of the rain, but I swear I'm staying calm about what I can and cannot change.

She sends me signs, but I'm blind and mine are designed for everyone. And what good's a sign once you find it can be divined by anyone?

It's you on my mind, dragged down deep in the night, with my darkness most desperate to decide. Just when I thought I'd lost myself completely, I found a truth you never thought would reach me: I've got all that I want.
Track Name: I Am a Guest
I am a guest here on this coast, combing the border for your ghost. The water is rising higher and higher. The tide is coming in, and I'm afraid that I can't swim. I am an ocean with no shore again.

I want sky and I want sand. I want salt water meeting land, but I am anchored to the moon. I will unfold as best I can, and when I finally understand, that's when I'll send for you.

I reach for some sort of talisman to tell me where I am. Is it the dream? Am I awake? Am I alive? None and all are true; each night I die and every morning I wake to new skies. I am patient. I am content to just survive.

Sunrise says everything we have to say about our yesterdays when we know nothing of today.
Track Name: Should You Call
It's taken me most of my life to finally understand: you've got to fall all of the way to find out where you land. You can't just see it; can you still believe it?

I know you think I only feel it when it's gone, but you can't see me standing here alone in the California rain. I bet you pictured someplace warm, but it feels colder now than where I come from.

When the ground's no longer solid underneath your wheels, you'll find a place where you can only feel. There are no answers at all. I'll be right here, should you call.

Inherited a knot of nervous wires from generations of uneasy machines. I had to fight to find my fire under the ashes of American dreams. You can't just see it, so you teach yourself to believe it. Remember it's still a feeling if you feel it when it's gone.

There ain't no soul that's lost, no soul that could never be redeemed, no soul that doesn't live forever. You ain't damned and you ain't blessed; the whole has little interest. You are at best a speck of dust in this endeavor.

When the ground's no longer solid underneath your wheels, you'll find a place where you can only feel. There are no answers at all. I'll be right here, should you call.

I'll be right here, should you call.